The Coordination Tax
Caregiving often becomes a second job before anyone names it.
Many adult children manage care in between meetings, emails, and deadlines.
Appointments get scheduled during lunch breaks.
Calls come in between calls.
Medications, updates, and follow-ups are tracked mentally, not formally.
This work rarely appears on a calendar.
It still consumes time, focus, and energy.
How the load builds
One daughter recently described her days as a series of handoffs. A work meeting ended.
A call from her mother’s building followed. A message from a provider came next. Another reminder waited quietly in the background.
Nothing was dramatic. Everything mattered.
By the end of the day, she felt behind in every direction.
This is the coordination tax.
The mental load of holding care together across people, places, and responsibilities.
Why It Feels So Heavy
Care coordination often lives in one person’s head.
Who called last.
What still needs follow-up.
What cannot be missed.
This kind of work creates pressure without visibility.
It requires constant alertness.
It leaves little room to pause.
The strain comes from carrying the system alone.
Where Relief Begins
Relief begins when care moves out of memory and into structure.
Structure protects compassion.
It holds the work in place so attention does not have to.
When coordination is shared, care feels steadier.
Decisions slow down.
Days feel less reactive.
Families regain the space to think clearly instead of constantly catching up.
This is how care becomes sustainable.
What this means
The coordination tax is real.
It accumulates quietly until the weight becomes undeniable. Most families do not recognize it until someone is already overwhelmed.
Families who manage care well do not have easier circumstances. They recognized the coordination tax earlier and chose not to carry it alone.
Sometimes that begins with a single conversation.
Thought-Provoking Question:
What would feel lighter if care coordination no longer depended on you holding everything in your head?
If you’d like to continue the conversation
Some families choose support as they build more sustainable care systems.
Others prefer to keep reflecting as these ideas unfold.
If that’s you, you can subscribe to The Care Standard and receive each edition directly in your inbox.
It’s a small step toward clarity today, and steadiness for what lies ahead.
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How families build confidence when care happens from a distance.
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